I thought running an agency was tough, but then life threw IVF into the mix and things got really wild.
Running a business and trying to create a human at the same time is mind-blowingly hard whatever path is yours to follow. What I didn’t realise when the IVF path was the only one available to us, was how tiring, time consuming and traumatic that would ultimately turn out to be.
You have very little control over the process, and zero control of your diary. Which is for busy business owners and equally employees, a massive f-ing challenge.
I became incredibly flaky. Having to cancel and rearrange meetings continuously as I never knew what days I would need to be at the clinic, often only having 12/24 hours notice.
The fear of being judged was ever present – would clients think I’m not up to the job?
Would they think I was unreliable, distracted?
Would my team think I was losing grip on the agency?
I felt I had something to prove constantly.
I made 3 hour round trips into London to my clinic, working every second of the way to try not to let anyone down.
I prioritised business over wellbeing.
I took my laptop into the waiting room while I waited for important test results.
I was not kind to myself.
These are the three things I wish someone had shared with me back then:
- Have the difficult conversations early.
IVF is a deeply personal experience and each individual will have their own level of ‘ok-ness’ about sharing this. Eventually our personal decision was to share. With my team, with clients and over time, publicly.
Everyone was understanding. We created strategies for meetings, allowing me to approach some with multiple dates in case I couldn’t make one or the other.
It made a huge difference to how I approached my leadership role. It opened the door for this and many other difficult topics to be discussed empathetically in the workplace.
The support I received and was able to give back, was immeasurable.
- Delegate as much as humanly possible.
You cannot be a people pleaser in this situation, it will burn you out. Sit down with a pen and paper and list out every single thing you do on a daily basis in your role. Anything that absolutely does not need you to deliver it, delegate.
I realise this is much easier with a team in place, but even now as a solo founder, I would hire support wherever I possibly could. I’ll take less profit over crippling anxiety every time.
- Be kind to yourself.
Say no often. Say it louder.
Leave the laptop at home. Not every waking minute needs to be used productively, even if work feels like an escape from the reality. Grab your favourite book, put on a podcast, stare out the window if that helps, but whatever you do to pass the time in the waiting room, make it full of kindness to yourself.
I still share, I still talk about this weekly, and I will continue to do that whenever I can to help others in this place.